Currently, in genoboost's mind..

I want to talk about Lunar Knights this month!

You can't talk about Lunar Knights! No one cares! You have to talk about Link to the Past!

Link to the Past is my favorite game!

That's right. So you have to write about it.

But it's so popular, everyone's going to talk about it. I have nothing to add!

You haven't even tried! You love Link to the Past!

Maybe I do, but Lunar Knights is a niche classic that many people have forgotten over th-

Stop that. Do you love Link to the Past?

...Yes.

Are you a writer?

Sometimes, when I'm feeling confident.

You're going to write about Zelda!

...and Lunar Knights, a little, on the side

Are you listening? No one care's about your niche malarkey! You are going to sit down and tell your readers how you feel about Link to the Past!

I'd rather spew a bunch of Malarkey to be honest...

Great plan, how well did that Rally X review go over?

Fine! Fine! You'll get your article! But I'll get my article too. You'll see...me! ...I'll see!

LUNAR KNIGHTS RETROSPECTIVE

It's the tenth anniversary of the release of the Nintendo DS game Lunar Knights, published by Konami and produced by Kojima Studios. Remember Lunar Knights? Of course you fuckin' don't. That's why I'm talking about it. Everyone is like, "Kojima made Metal Gear Solid" "Kojima made Snatcher and I'm all about obscure future noir CD based games." Well no to both of those, Kojima is the man behind Solar Boy Django, and subsequently, the even more obscure game I present to you now. Lunar Knights.

Yes, Kojima took a break from creating Metal Gear after Metal Gear, after Metal Gear, to create a 3/4 persepective mix of Castlevania, Metal Gear, and just a ridiculous amount of anime. Though, because it was Kojima, this thing has to be the most high budget, unskippable cut scene packed game on the Nintendo DS. Too bad he didn't slap Metal Gear on the title though, because now it's as obscure as Snatcher.

Lunar Knights is the only game I ever wrote a review for. I'm terrible at reviewing games because I never finish them. How can I review a game without beating it? I can't. So I don't.

Lunar Knights is the type of game that you beat once, and then you automatically fire up again. The fact that it had a New Game + mode was a much needed icing on the cake though.

Every game should have a new game plus. Any great game without a new game plus isn't a good game + in my book. Lunar Knights was like Metal Gear Solid and Castlevania rolled into one. Maybe because it was by Konami and Kojima studios.

Did you know Kojima made games that weren't wrought iron bullshit filled with cut scenes and metal gears and acid flash backs. I'm sure I'm remembering that right.

BACKSTORY

At this point in life, I was still a fan of Hideo Kojima, seeing as how I had only played Metal Gear Solid and VR Missions for the PSX at this point, I didn't quite know what Kojima would unleash as technology progressed.

Somewhere between Metal gear Solid Digital Graphic Novel and Metal Gear Acid, Kojima was able to make a new game that was not also a Metal Gear game. This game felt like a major throwback for Kojima and their studio. Solid gameplay, bosses, hardware pushing cutscenes, and yes, lots of dialogue and character exposition.

GAMEPLAY

I'm not getting into this here. I actually reviewed this game sometime near when it came out. I'm here to talk about the legacy of the game, but also mostly some perfectly reasonable theories about Hideo Kojima.

GAME HISTORY

I've had more than a few theories and ideas pertaining to Konami and Kojima studios, and especially with Hideo Kojima himself. Some theories so insane it would make Kojima blush. For your consideration though, is my prevailing Kojima theory, which I call the Metal Gear Forever theory.

After Metal Gear Solid 3 was over, I thought Kojima would walk away from the series. He even sad as much in some interviews which have mysteriously disappeared from the internet. Perhaps he did plan to quit the series and work on something else he enjoys. Something like a series of handheld games based on the power of sunlight to defeat vampires. Literal sunlight, from the sun, outside.

I'm talking about the short lived Boktai or Solar Boy Django games. Hideo Kojima produced all four games in the series, which began in 2003, and culminated with 2007's Lunar Knights.

My prevailing hypothesis places the blame on Konami, who, I believe, literally trapped Kojima in a dungeon. Hideo Kojima was trapped in a dungeon from around 2004, until his escape sometime in early 2015. It would seem that Kojima did not read all the fine print when he signed the deal with Konami to create Kojima Studios. Especially the part of the contract where it states that Kojima would be thrown in a dungeon. That's not even the worst part of the contract, the cost of Konami building a dungeon to throw Kojima in, would also come out of the budget for Metal Gear Solid 4!

Once trapped, Kojima was forced to make Metal Gear games, forever! Konami also stole Hideo Kojima's dog. Clearly, Konami had gone insane with greed as the Metal Gear series sold millions.

It is in this deep, dark, dank, dungeon that Kojima began to dream of one day seeing the sunlight again, which in turn led to the idea for the Boktai /Solar Boy Django game.
A note to triple A game developers, I know that your programmers are already working twenty hours a day, and I know that the upfront cost of a dungeon seems pretty steep, but just imagine how much you'll save if your employees can never escape!

LEGACY

This game was a great niche title for the DS. Thanks to Kojima and his unlimited budget to do almost anything he liked (except, not make MGS games) gave this small title some great affection. FMV cut scenes, spoken dialogue, a ridiculous amount of post game content. Memorable characters, both good and bad. Not to mention the strange, colorful, and often baffling world of vampires and vampire hunters.

CONCLUSION

I'd love to talk more about Lunar Knights, but my conscience simply won't allow it. It appears I have to work on a track by track analysis of Mario Kart 64.

...Wait, seriously?

It's what I deserve.